Dating

How You May Be Sabotaging Yourself On A First Date

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K. Tea Edwards
Written by K. Tea Edwards

Have you ever been on a first date that you thought went really well? But then to your surprise you never heard from the person again? Or received a disinterested text response back days later? Although you may feel utterly lost in translation and confused as to what went wrong, it could just be that a case of the first date jitters had you behaving unlike your normal self.

The truth is, that sometimes when we’re nervous, slightly insecure or uncertain, we have the tendency to overcompensate by trying to prove ourselves to others. In your attempt to try and win your date over with all of the great things you have going for you, you may have started to unintentionally verbalize those qualities instead of allowing them to see it for themselves.

Unfortunately, this usually has the opposite effect on a person when you’re just getting to know them. When a person senses that you’re trying to prove yourself to them, it can act as a red flag. Instead of them feeling a real connection with you, they may feel like the whole date was forced and superficial. Of course, it is natural to want to impress your date but trying to big yourself up too much, sends the wrong message across. Your date could seemingly misinterpret this behaviour and think that you’re pompous, cocky, desperate, insecure or a whole host of other negative attributes, which just aren’t you.

On the contrary, if you become more mindful of what you say, you can certainly nip this self-sabotaging habit in no time. The moment you refrain from trying to sell yourself is the moment that you open up to the possibility of building on something real and actually getting to know someone. And giving them the chance to get to know you.

  • denny

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