Career   Motivational   

Gurbaksh Chahal | Best Advice: “Never Give Up”— the lesson I learned from my Father


Gurbaksh Chahal Motivational

March 31, 2015

Gurbaksh Chahal Advice

It was October 27, 1997. I remember it as if it was yesterday. My family’s dream home was already half built. It was to be our escape from the small, cramped house in the projects that I shared with my parents, my paternal grandmother and three siblings.

Then the stock market crashed.

The NYSE plummeted 550 points and trading was halted early. My father was devastated. He had bought stock on margin—a lot of stock—and had lost everything. Worst still, he was going to lose money he didn’t even have.

At the dinner table that night he broke the news that the dream move to a new house in the suburbs was not going to happen. He feared that the market was going to continue its downward spiral and announced that, first thing in the morning, as soon as the market opened, he would sell everything. “We will end up with nothing, but at least we won’t be in debt,” he told us.

Sure enough, that’s what he did. Only to see the Dow climb 324 points within half an hour. If he had just waited an hour, he would have recouped most of his losses, enabling the move into the new home to go ahead. Now, that couldn’t happen. Everything would be lost, including the down payment.

He had never been an overtly emotional man, but my father broke down sobbing. I had never seen him shed a tear before and here he was sobbing in front of the whole family. He seemed defeated and I was terrified for him.

Just a few days later, though, a remarkable transformation occurred. With no explanation whatsoever my father snapped out of his depression and declared to us all, “One way or another, we are going to move into that new house.”

I was powerfully affected by the dramatic change in his attitude. That resilience and determination would forever be ingrained in my thinking and instrumental in the way I have conducted myself personally and professionally.

The lesson was clear: Never give up.

Dad rallied the entire family into action. He sold mom’s car and began chauffeuring her to and from work. He volunteered for overtime at the post office where he worked. Mom did double shifts as a registered nurse at the local hospital. My two sisters got part-time jobs and my brother picked up a cheap used bike and landed a newspaper delivery route. We clipped coupons for everything. We even sold the TV. Sacrifices and belt-tightening became a way of life.

As an immigrant family from India my parents had experienced hardship before in pursuit of the American dream. Nothing was going to stop us now. Not even a stock market crash that had virtually wiped us out. Nothing.

So never give up was the most valuable lesson of all drummed into me from this early experience. I witnessed firsthand the fact that that moving forward in the face of adversity is one of the hardest things in life. You may make mistakes and get hurt, but you can’t afford to wallow in self-pity. It’s a lesson that’s particularly important in business because you will undoubtedly get knocked down. That’s when you have to determine not to be counted out, but get up and keep fighting.

Does this story have a happy ending? You bet.

Tough as things were, my father pulled himself together and inspired us to follow his lead and not give up. He constantly reassured us that we were going to be all right.

Sure enough we raised enough money, sold the house in the projects and moved out and up in the world. My dad had managed to keep his word to the family. Our new home wasn’t a palace by any stretch of the imagination but it had three small bedrooms and it was a huge improvement over the projects.

A year or so later I began buying and selling refurbished printers as a way to make money, but I could see that the future lay in the Internet and I was especially fascinated by performance-based advertising. So, at the age of 16, in the bedroom I shared with my older brother, I launched my first real business.

Soon thereafter, once again my father stepped up to the plate. Even though he valued education above almost everything else he allowed me to quit school once he saw I was determined not to give up on my goal of becoming a successful entrepreneur. The fact that I already had a bank balance in excess of $100,000 didn’t do my case any harm.

Nevertheless, my dad insisted that if I didn’t make it within a year I would have to go back to school. I knew in my heart of hearts that that wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to achieve their dream of me becoming a doctor. I was going to do better.

As the years went by I was hit by every setback imaginable. Everything that young entrepreneurs have to expect. Deals that went wrong. Partnerships that soured. Opportunistic lawsuits. Leechers and vultures all around. And a lot more.

But I continued to relentlessly follow my father’s example. I could take the downfalls. I could get knocked. But I was always going to get back up on my feet again. I had boundless energy and enthusiasm and, most important of all, I believed in myself.

Fast forward to 2007 and the day I sold my second Internet business, BlueLithium, to Yahoo for $300 million. My father joined us for the celebrations. It gave me the opportunity to tell him, “You know why this wonderful thing has happened to our family. Because of you. Even when you were at your lowest, you picked yourself up and kept fighting. You taught me that one must never give up.”